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2月23日 wow i've not been on this for ages...it used to be such an outlet like an online dairy but as usual life keeps you busy. quick update on me - i'm still happy with my darling simon without whom the last 6 months would have been living hell ...the hardest in my life. since gumdrops died he was the one that kept me going. althogh i still continue to attend karate the passion i had for it seems to have leaked away and been replaced with just commitment - my other brother chris died 4 weeks ago... as he decided he wanted nothing to do with the family for 2 and a half years it was bit like hearing of an old school friend that you used to be close to but have since lost contact had gone but in the past few days the reality has crept up. and its awful. i've lost the two people i expected to grow old with.and its the people around me i have taken it out on. i've been avoiding certain people that annoy me anyway, but have to be civil to, for fear of propper loosing my temper with them and ending up in court lol but again those certain people should not mistake my avoiding them for weekness....oh no no no lol cross me i swear i'll bash the living hell out of you  my real friends and the family im left with are my world.and help me carry on when i feel the world is against me ....
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