im a converted die hard facebooker these days

after one of the busiest weeks this year ,for me, i've now got me some chill out time ...and im feckin bored.

i;m bored. propper bored . done my house work fed kids cat dog n snails. its to dark to cut the grass. i'm still loved tho  and thats just the best feeling i've felt ....ever.

 

i'm really sorry to say this out loud.....i really miss gumdrops...............it is really stateing the obvious but i just wanna ring him and send him crappy jokes and slag me dad off with him cos as much as i've tryed with other people its just not the same ..... i'm hoping to pre grade next week and usually i get the text message telling me that who ever i fight is a fuc**ng faggot  or bed wetter  and i should feel sorry for them cos i'm gonna kick there ass .... i miss that ...and i get soooo fukin mad when i see the brother swanning round not hurting as much as i am cos he dont care that his brother is dead..ppl ask me why could'nt it have been him? i don't know the answer to that .. but still it would have been my brother and i would still hurt.

i need some free money that i've not got to pay back ever ... my budget has been exasperated lol my eldest birthday tomorrow my bro funeral friday pay day saturday yay !!!!!! 

My lil brother died today . he was 27.   

lately the world i live in has become aboutwhats most important and when. i cant spell prorities.  i've always said family comes first  and that my kids come before anyone including myself karate and definatly before boyfriends.... but lately my bro has been very very poorly and we didnt think he was gonna last much longer and i have been lumping my kids with there dad alot so i could be with my bro in the hospital. which im thinking is right after all ihave explained as best i can about whats happening and i can always make up the lost time spent with them at a later date ... but with the lack of routine stablity and my mood swings i feel i may have neglected them slightly. i hav'nt taken thenm to all the fun places i promised at the biggining of the summer hols attiude is rife and cuddles are becoming less frequent. when at there dads they watch shitty telly or shitty playstation feeds them shit so when they do come back to me they are like tasmanian devils unleashed . not really what you need when your brain is fryed . i wonder if they do muzzle and leash for kidslol i could add cruelty to my list of sins lol

yay i've managed to borrow a laptop til mines fixed (thanks pam ur a star )  

not much exciting has happened off late my computeris still broken , i'm still single (but do have my beedy eye on someone) ,and my bro still poorly ... butihave had my knee op to fix my cartilage ... which has ment no karate for a while but i know its gonna be worth it in the long run . its been strange living on my own for the past fortnight but my eldest comes home tonight and my youngest tomorow so home will go back to normal chaoslol  i cannot wait for lee n kay to have there lil baba . i know they are both gonna be so good at the parenting thing and from my selfish point of view i wanna hold little baby and give him back lol

goodness me...i've been allowed a space again ... yay... for whatever reason the mighty msn pplhave allowed my vikthegoddess space back again i would very much like to take the oppertunity to appoligise humbley to msn ppl for the offencive picture or words that were on my space previously... i'm not sure what picture or words that it was that caused offence but what ever they were i'm very sorry ... on that note im gonna go bed  cos im F***ed nighty night   xx